How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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