Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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