A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
