My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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