just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
