it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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