My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
