I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
