1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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