Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
