i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
