oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize