So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
