Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
