i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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