Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
