Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
