I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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