it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
