Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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