my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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