The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
