I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
