and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
