no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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