Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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