I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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