There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
