I wanna bring you to show and tell
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
