Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
