you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
