brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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