I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
