In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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