I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
