I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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