I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
