Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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