my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
