have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
