May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
