i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
