you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
