a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
