So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
