I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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