I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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