He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
