Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
