we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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