Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
