Kiss
Puke
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize