C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Randomize
