Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
