It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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