Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
