too bad you live with your parents still
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
