i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize