the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
