This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize