How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
