Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you have to choose: penises or morals?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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