Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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